![]() Also, we would have given those droids up in a heartbeat if it meant a few Imperial Credits in our weird belt pouch. Star WarsĪ galaxy far, far away seems pretty far down on this list for a place with laser swords and spaceships piloted by howling dog-men, but it really feels like as long as you mind your own business and stay out places described as “wretched hives of scum and villainy,” you’d do fine. We’d do fine here as long as we don’t fall in love with a mysterious wizard and get squashed by his castle, which we definitely would. The world of “Howl’s Moving Castle” is constantly at war, but also, the worst witch in the entire kingdom doesn’t have anything better to do than fuck with a hatmaker. We wouldn’t last long here because we would gladly ask a dragon to bite our head to get out of this Chameleon-spelling hellhole. Xanth is basically magical Florida, with all the barely-veiled misogyny and not-at-all-veiled child abuse that implies. However, they’re mostly concerned with friendship and fun, and as long as we could prove we’re not some kind of Brony pervert, we’d be fine for a long-ass time. You might not think it, but the land of My Little Pony actually has a lot of dragons. Oh, the Shadow Lord has the island of Deltora in a crushing grip of economic freefall and political repression? Give us a fucking break, we’re already doing way worse than that here, at least they’re on an island. At least we wouldn’t have to sing any songs. We could probably last a few days before dying of frostbite or being stabbed to death with Olaf’s nose. Arendelleĭisney came up with this world, but modern-day wimp Disney, not “Black Cauldron,” terror Disney. That’s basically all that Goofy is, cannon fodder. Like a dragon is going to eat us when Goofy is standing right over there with Chirithy, and you know he’s got some meat on his bones. He’d probably start with our feet or some weird shit, too. Oh yeah, we’d last a while, stomping on Toad’s head, throwing fireballs at turtles, and doing basically everything we’ve ever dreamed. Nothing happens to anyone who isn’t a member of the Royal Family, which seems pretty classist but still suits us fine. Kingdom of Daventryĭaventry is your pretty standard, off-the-rack fantasy kingdom from the King’s Quest game, and we think we’d do pretty well. There’s pretty much no one on Myst, so we’d probably survive for a long time until we stumbled into the water while trying to catch a fish and drowned. ![]() Kicking things off with Myst, the mysterious (get it? The 1990s were stupid) deserted island world full of talking books and complicated, deeply boring puzzles that are somehow supposed to be more fun than doing sword stuff. We’ve ranked the most gorgeously realized fantasy worlds in literature, film, and video games in order to figure out how quickly we’d be murdered by trolls or eaten by a dragon or some shit. We don’t know shit about swords, how to ride a horse, or how many silver flagons there are in one gold sovereign or whatever. Who among us can truly say they never dreamed of discovering that they were secretly an abused wizard child or a weird steampunk guy with gears on his top hat? Not us, that’s for sure, and we’ve had sex plenty of times.īut as fun as it would be to dive through the wardrobe and explore fantastical new worlds, we have to admit, we’d be goners going to pretty much any fairy tale kingdom. Whether you call it weird fiction, sword and sorcery, or just plain nerd stuff, the fantasy genre is pretty incredible.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |